Jueqel Musings

Monday, October 18, 2004

Cannibals

Winter was looking at me like I had already been talking with the cannibals. His outstretched membrane flapped in the wind, and he folded together like a living umbrella, all the while looking at me. I did my best to ignore him, and I kept feeding off the daylight. After a moment suspended in the air, he spoke. "Tale's been gone for along time. Aren't you worried? I'm worried. It has started again. They will come hunting us. This time they have the power to destroy us. How could you let him go?"
I was tired of explaining myself to everyone. "Just finish eating. We can talk about this more when we land."
"I'm already full. Besides the Sun is too low. I prefer the taste of high noon to four," Winter said.
I wasn't about to argue that point. What fell to into the atmosphere was much better tasting in the early afternoon. At least it was to some of us. We live off the solar wind, what little of it comes to Earth. The particles that make it to the upper atmosphere are radiated just enough to give us the nourishment we need.
The cannibals rarely came to this part of the sky. Their pollution was sometimes a problem, but that was only after brief storms. It took a long time for me to accept that they burn their own kind to keep warm.
I like to consider myself an expert in the behavior of cannibals. I've watched them enough to know that they were still clueless about our existence. At least that was until Tale had gone missing. Tale and I had been observing their recent behavior. A school of them gathered inside one of their structures and began to feast upon one another. I had gotten used to seeing this kind of activity, but this time something had captured me and Tale's attention. After a great flash of light a loud booming noise I had never heard before, the cannibals were killed. Turned to ash.
There was a peculiar scent in the air. It was as if the cannibals had been basking in our feeding ground. I knew that's what drove Tale closer to them. For a long time after that it was one of our feeding grounds. I didn't like the flavor of this place, but many did.
After a while, some of the cannibals came back. They walked around with sticks waving in the air, making noises like they do everywhere we find them, but this time with loud ticks and clicks. These particular cannibals, humans, can't stop their endless noises. It has only been over the past fifty years that it has gotten out of hand.
They had been hiding in protective armor that made them difficult to see. At first, they were hard to distinguish between their surroundings. If they had been standing still, I would have been at a loss to know any cannibal was near. Like me, Tale had always been fascinated with the cannibals. So, I could not have been sure if it was the camouflage or curiosity that made him reveal himself.
Their noisy sticks started to tick and click wildly as Tale approached the cannibals. They could not see him at first. Tale was hiding his presence, but I kept thinking he would show himself. I was right. He got as close as he dare and then opened himself up. The noise spiked up, causing their sticks to wave about. This seemed to scare the cannibals away, at first, but at the last moment one of the female cannibals turned to see Tale coming at them. She grabbed a box that was also hard to see and started toward Tale.
Afraid of what might happen, I ran to help Tale. The sounds of their detectors increased. I thought they might have been able to see me, but it was too late for me to check. The world shifted and tumbled a bit. They tried to to put be in a box that was hard to see. It was distracting, but I managed to keep hidden enough that they lost me. Or so I believed.
As it turned out, I was captured. They had me in their box. I just didn't know it for a while. The world seemed as it was, but when I moved about, searching for familiar places, I found only the same landscape. It seemed I traveled a long way, but I went nowhere. I was being reflected and bounced around in their box, and I couldn't tell the difference.
I had heard of caves and places where some of us get lost for a long time. I had once found a land where the feeding was abundant, and I almost felt as if I was in the sky. After a while it made me dizzy, and I found it hard to leave. I later found out it was an entire land of salt.
Oh, to be sure, many in the past have revealed themselves to the cannibals. Only back then it was mostly harmless. We scared them too much. They called us demons for the longest time. Fairy was also another favorite term they used. I heard them call us vampires once. That I couldn't understand. We were not feeding on our own kind. Some of had been so upset that a few of our kind went to fix this error. We were afraid they might start to hunt us, though that was not possible back then. We didn't know the would mostly turn away from that fancy. They created wards to keep us away. Strangely enough, Some of those wards actually worked. The shinny globes called witchballs wrecked havoc on some of the younger ones.
Their strange way of pretending that magic existed had changed very little over the centuries. It was as if they had to have that illusion to get through life. When all they really needed was to each each other.
“Winter?” I asked. "Do you remember the time of the monsters?
“Why do you call me that? Did you learn that from the cannibals?”
“So, that I can address you by your uniqueness, and because you are cold and cruel,” I said most sincere. “Now, Winter. I will ask you again. Do you remember the time of the monsters?”
“I fell into this world when the giant cannibals were destroyed. These crazy words you use to describe the cannibals is disturbing. There is no such thing as monsters, only cannibals.”
My feeding was at an end. Everything had lost its taste. I folded myself together and addressed him, directly. “Not all cannibals are the same, Winter. In fact, some cannibals have what is called a species. Whereby they classify different kinds of cannibals.” I was very smug, and thought I sounded confident enough to get my point across. “Will you call me Bright? That is my given name.”
“You sound as if you care for these things. They are not of us. They are below us. They wallow in their sickening ways of feeding off one another. Why do you have to know so much about them?”
I supposed I had some feelings for them. I could not deny it. I was, in fact, passionate about them. “The humans strike me as different than the other cannibals. Not at all like us, except they can at least communicate more than just basic hunger.”
The other obvious differences was that our kind was light and elastic, while the cannibals were frail and easily torn. They were very destructive to their own kind, but Niche was especially different.
She was afraid, but not like the others. She spoke to me and told me she new I was sentient. She was the one that taught me that I could write the words I had learned. I could express myself in writing.
The first time I used a pencil, it felt odd to wield a cannibal to write upon another cannibal, but the Niche said it was only a dead tree holding the lead. The paper was made of more dead tree. She still had much to learn about other cannibals on this planet.
Niche introduced me to the computer. I was able to write the words faster. The words came out as light upon the screen. They too were hard to read at first, but after adjusting for the noise, I could make out the words very well.

Sunday, October 10, 2004

Panterra's Garden

Oren was on his way to the 27th floor to spend a little time gambling his pay away. He knew Decker's Casino would be packed in like a carpet of playing cards. Free drinks and a big crowd normally called out to Oren, when he had money to burn. Oren let out an exasperated breath, “If only Ace were here.”

Of course, he would have been more excited about the evening's prospects, but most of his passion for the games went with his buddy, Martin Green, or Ace to anyone who knew him. He was missing, again, and games just weren't the same without him.

The lift stopped at 16. The doors slid open, and a stench spilled into the cabin. The smell of overused pubs and their sick patrons spilled into the cabin. Oren held his breath until the door closed.

A heavy built woman stepped in next to Oren. Her long blond hair was made up as though she had been sleeping on it. As if no one was in the room with her, she reached down her skirt and rocked side to side as she tried to maintain her balance. Oren stared in disgusted fascination as she stood there adjusting herself. Her lips had too much crayon coloring, caked and smeared around the edges. There was a layer of makeup covering her face at least as thick as a poker chip. Her bushy unibrow gave her that Neanderthal look that so many go for these days. Her chest looked lopsided, and her wig was about to fall off. “Well, not a blond after all,” Oren thought to himself. She was tall and stocky, and her cologne smelled like Old Spice. Her five o'clock shadow was telling Oren it was almost midnight.

“Jack, why are you dressed like that?” Oren asked the lady.

“Man, be damned,” Jack exclaimed. “If it isn't Oren Spader. Where you headed off to? Me? I'm sort of hiding from Panterra,” Jack smiled. Oren grimmest. Lipstick had rubbed off on to Jack's teeth. It was hideous.

“It looks like you've been chewing on an Avon lady. You're not fooling anyone in that outfit.”
Jack smirked and grabbed Oren's arm. “Yea, I know.” Trying to hold back something funny, his lips puckered and pulsed into a gruesome heart shape. Jack couldn't keep a straight face and bent forward in a fit of laughter. This went on for a good twenty seconds before he managed to choke out, “Panterra's afraid of drag queens!” He threw his head back and laughed. Jack’s red stained smile too unpleasant to be funny.

“Jack, that's nasty.” Oren shook off his grip.

“Oh, man. If you had seen the look on Panterra's face when he laid eyes on me. I wish I'd had a camera.”

Oren said, “I don’t get it. Why would Panterra be afraid of anything?”

“He's superstitious. I heard some gypsy lady told him a man in a dress would destroy his life, or something like that. Like I care why, man. He’s afraid, and I’m free of his grip for a while. ”

“Jack, you can’t push him around.”

“Yes, I can,” said Jack, throwing his hair back out of his eyes in a defiant gesture.

Panterra's fear of drag queens struck Oren as a little strange, but not particularly important. One of those bits of trivia that never come in handy. Still, if he were a betting man, which he was, he would have lost that bet. As far as Oren had known, Panterra feared nothing.

The lift stopped again, and Jack's laughing settled to a dull chuckle. “If only Ace had known.”

Oren's spine prickled, and he turned Jack. “What do you mean? Has something happened to Ace?” Oren had grabbed Jack's arms and turned him squarely to face him. A would be passenger decided he'd wait for the next one.

“Hey! Get a grip, man. Panterra just collected on an old debt. That's all. He's got Ace in a vat, feeding his plants. I figured he'd come after ME, next. And he did. But I...”

Oren cut him off, “Ace is plant food? Where’s he holding him?”

“Ah, you know, in his Garden. Level 13, behind them slum apartments.”

“I've never been,” Oren admitted.

“Man, I used to go there all the time. It's a little creepy at times. I stopped going three months ago, after Panterra sent me a summons to pay up.”

Oren wasn't really listening. “So, you know the place. That's good.” Oren was looking at Jack's attire closely, looking him up and down. “Say Jack, where'd you get the dress and all that other crap?”

“There's a store, Dressed-Up For Men, on Level 20.” Jack’s voice trailed away and then fumbled with a nervous pitch. “Hey man, this is the only time I've ever done anything like this.”

“Yes Jack,” Oren said in his best reassuring tone. “I'm pretty sure you don't do this every day. In fact, I'd stake my life on it.”

“Hey, it's not that bad,” Jack sounded slightly miffed.

Oren looked disgustedly at Jack and reached past him to press 20. “I’ve got to save Ace, and you're taking me shopping.”

---

Two men in dresses finished their shopping and walked out of the store. Oren twisted his ankle as he stepped out of the shop. “Damn, high heels.”

“Hey man, you had to pick the death-wish pumps, but trust me,” Jack assured him. “Panterra will never even know it's you under there.”

Oren shot him a look, “you mean us.”

“Yeah, about that, Oren. I don't think it's a good idea for me to get involved. The garden is not a safe place for me. Panterra might get over his fear and decide I might make a nice after dinner snack for his pets.” Jack turned to walk away.

“Jack, Get back here. I need you to show me where this place is, and show me where Ace is.”

“Man, let go of my arm, Oren.”

“Alright, but I need you to get me to his garden. That's the least you could do.” Oren was prepared to pull out the old debt card.

Jack shook his head, “level 12 to 14 is off limits to me. I'm allergic to the chemical markers they use to put you stasis.”

“You've been liquefied before?” Oren asked

“Well, no. But I seen it done to this guy once.” Jack motioned with his hands down his face.

“They stick you in a vat. Fill it with gas. Throw the switch. WHAM! SPLAT! You're instant goop. I could hear that poor guy splash as he hit the sides. Man, I almost lost my lunch.”

Oren thought about those thugs melting down Ace. Anger flashed on his face. As far as he was concerned, all bets were off. “Jack you're taking me to the garden. You owe me.”

“No, my sister owes you,” Jack corrected.

Oren knew Jack's sister borrowed the money for Jack, but he wasn't about to let Jack know that his sister had revealed as much. “So, I should ask HER to take me there? Is that it, Jacky?”

Jack's face twisted. “No, Oren. I'm not getting her involved, and you can't ask her to help you with this. Fine. I'll do it, but the debt's paid. You hear me, Oren. Paid in full.”

Oren didn’t like playing this dirty, but Ace meant more to him than some old debt Oren was never likely to see. “Alright, Jack. I'll consider the debt paid.”

“Good.”

“And Jack.”

“What now?”

“When this is over, never dress in drag again.”

“Man, no promises here.”

---

Panterra's Garden wasn't easy to get to. Piles of junked machinery littered the path like a crowd at Decker's. Makeshift gates of stripped bay doors and grates seemed to block them at every turn. What should have been a clear path down a wide corridor had long ago been turned into a refuse of desperate dwellings. Their steps echoed off nearby stainless steel walls. Something foul was cooking from behind a door.

Along the way, open doors slammed shut as they approached. This place was a dump. Oren thought, “Jack was right when he said this place was creepy. It's a wonder anyone ever came here. Let alone lived here.”

Nearly breaking their necks a half dozen times, the two approached a clearing, an oasis in the desert dunes of debris. On the other side stood a pale green gate lit up with luminescent grow bulbs. There were two exotic trees gnarled and twisted on either side of the bay door. Somehow inviting them closer, but suggesting they stay away.

Jack stopped at the edge of the clearing. “This is it. You let me do the talking,” Jack suggested.

“No problem.”

A whirring metal voice from under some rubble spoke up, “talkin' ain't gettin' you in, sssss.”

Oren was startled. “What?”

Jack snapped, “Shut up. I said, let me do the talking.”

Oren gestured palms forward, flipping his hair behind him. Trying his best to mime, “Oh, no, you din't, girlfriend.”

The whirring voice repeated, “talkin' ain't gettin' you in, sssss.”

“Talkin' is here to see the vat,” Jack replied.

A light from under one of the trees glowed blue for a moment and then turned red. “Welcome back Jack sssss,” whirred the voice. A latch behind the gate clicked and cracked open. Jack motioned Oren to follow.

As they passed the threshold, they were hit with a blast of warm moist air. The smells of soil and greenery penetrated the senses. It was overwhelming at first. Aside from the fact that there was no sun, they could not tell they were in a building. Being inside for years, Oren had all but lost the memory of what it was like to be outdoors.

The gate closed and locked behind them. Through leaves and branches, Oren could make out some bright colors of red and blue motioning back and forth. Dozens of large diamond shaped leaves blocked any clear view ahead, but above them three aquariums tinted dark with use hung in the air.

No immediate route showed itself, but the two eventually discovered stepping stones. They made their way toward the moving colors. The ground beneath Oren's feet felt oddly soft, even on the stones.

The humidity was elevated high enough that Oren thought it might rain. It was brighter here than in any other part of the building Oren had been in. The colors appeared more vibrant. This contrasted the normal yellow stained glow that played over his hands from the incandescent bulbs. He was trying to remember if daylight had looked as warm and inviting. Someone had obviously put a lot of money into this place.

Jack pushed his way through the brush. Oren followed getting the occasional slap in the face from leaves and twigs. His allergies started to puff up his eyes. He hadn't sneezed in such a long time, he didn't know if it was even possible. He didn't have to wait long to find out.

Moisture was beading up under his arms. Oren felt as though he were sitting at a high stakes poker table – sweaty, but trying not to show it.

The red and blue movement turned out to be flashing lights. “I guess the alarm's been set off,” Jack looked around nervous. “We gotta get out here. Panterra will know it's me.”

“No, wait. Ace is in here. And we had a deal.”

Jack looked up, “Damn! I think we're too late. Look.”

Oren could see a staircase leading up to a grill walkway. There was a terminal with an open panel next to a clean empty aquarium.

Jack tapped Oren on the shoulder. “No, Oren, right there,” pointing up to the three dark cubes. The first of them had a tube running through the bottom of it draining the last of its contents into a transparent sphere. They watched as the tube snapped off and fell away, collapsing into its chamber. An alarm sounded in a droning rhythm that reminded Oren of ducks. He then heard a hydraulic pump churn and hiss as the sphere began to spin, producing small hoses that snaked out pinwheel style.

A dark mist streamed out from the ends of each hose. They whipped about like string pasta and sprayed muck into the air. “They're feeding the plants,” Jack said. Oren thought Jack looked sickly and pale, but it was hard to tell with that nasty makeup job melting down his face.

“So, can we turn it off?” Oren asked.

“It's too late to stop it, but there are two vats left. One of them might be Ace.”

Oren asked, “what about the alarms?”

Jack shook his head. “Sorry, I was wrong. The lights are just the first warning that the feeder is about to start up. The audible alarm starts a few seconds before it starts to spay. Come on. Ace must be in one of those vats.” Jack pulled Oren along.

It was then that Oren first sneezed so hard he nearly fell to the floor. Oren laughed but was interrupted with anther sneeze that knocked him on his ass. “Wha? What do you mean?” Oren managed to get out between sneezes. He turned his head around trying to find the vats. He saw nothing but the aquariums. Realization dawned, “the dirty aquariums are the vats.”

Brown wet juice filled the air with a sticky thickness that clung to their clothes. There was a sweet aroma of candy combined with a taste of something reminiscent of sour cream and brandy.

Jack got his bearings and led them to the stairs. Stopping repeatedly to encourage Oren's movement. The sneezing wouldn't let up. When they reached the stairs, Oren tried to wave Jack to go on, “I'll! Catch up.”

The noise from the alarms stopped and hydraulics silenced their endless hissing. The spinning sphere was returning to fill up with more muck. That was when his sneezing subsided.

Oren followed Jack up the stairs ignoring the stickiness of his clothes. Jack reached the terminal at the top of the platform and began punching keys. Oren walked up and then out on the farthest side of the platform closest to the vats, but unable to reach them. “Jack, hurry up. I see one of those tubes coming in for the kill.”

“Man, shut up. I'm trying to do something here.”

Oren looked for a route that could get him closer to the vats, but found nothing. That was when he noticed a camera pointed at him with its tiny red “on” light lit up. He moved to the right out of the camera's field of view, but the camera turned with him. “Jack, I think we're being watched.”

“Man, I know. There's a good chance we've been watched from the start. Panterra's got cameras everywhere, but I don't know how often he keeps an eye on them. I GOT IT!”

The vats immediately started their trip to the platform, but moving too slow for Oren. He was anxious to free his friend and seemed hang on to that moment with anticipation. Finally, the first of the two remaining vats settled to the platform, but all Oren could see in the aquarium was slime.

Jack nudged him aside and dipped a transparent stick into the goop. Nothing happened. He tried the next vat, and it flashed green. “Man, this is someone alright. Here, stand back.” Oren took a step back and turned his eyes away as intense light poured out of the stick and filled the room. “This should be pretty quick,” Jack explained. “The chemical markers should remember which order to fall back into, and then release Ace.” There was a pause, “in theory.”

"Are you sure?"

The bright light faded. "No, but we're about to find out." Jack fidgeted and appeared a little more nervous. In a falsely confident voice Jack explained, "They ship people off world like this all the time. Saves on having to use life support."

The two men watched as the slime churned and shifted. Clumps of solid bits began to appear, bubbling up to the surface. The bits bobbed up and down getting larger and changing color. After a while Oren thought it looked like scrambled eggs, but these were runny and green. Oren eventually could see a slimy hairless body coalesce from the slop.

Jack looked like he was going to be sick.

---

For the first time since they had come to the garden, Oren thought about how he must have looked. Somewhere along the way, he had lost the high heels he'd been wearing. The long hair from his wig was plastered to his face and neck. Makeup swirled with brown goo that ran down his blouse. His hairy chest was flat from missing falsies. He hoped he had not looked as bad as Jack, but he doubted it.

Ace was still out of it for a while, but he was breathing by the time they got him out the gate. Panterra's garden took its toll, but his friend was safe, and that was all that mattered to Oren. Jack lead the way, ignoring the looks from oglers in the lift and corridors. One woman sneering at the spectacle with open disdain. Oren wanted to say something, but thought silence was his best bet to keep the rumors to a minimum.

The lift stopped and the doors slid open. Jacked started out the door, but turned back. “Ace, you've got one hell of a friend here.” he puckered up and planted a big kiss on Ace's cheek. Walking away, and without even looking back, he waved and said, “Debts paid, Oren.”

Saturday, October 02, 2004

Wound Up 3

Aaron, one of Roni's fathers, was carrying her. She was numb all over. Something made her uneasy. She didn't know why, but there was some kind of danger. She could feel that much anyway. It was like she was still sleeping. The world around her seemed to rush by in a blur. She couldn't hear anything but the muffled steps and panting from Aaron. "Papa, what's happening?" Roni asked.

The world stopped abruptly. Her head turned to the sound of a familiar voice. "Oh, Roni, you're awake." He pulled her up close and hugged her tight. "You're going to be alright. You had me and your dad so worried."

Roni found it difficult to focus her eyes. So, she tried even harder to see him. With great effort things came into view. The fuzziness cleared a little. She could make out his face. Her Papa always had a beard, brown and bushy. "Papa, what's going on? Where's daddy?"

"Daddy's waiting for us, baby, but we have to hurry." Aaron adjusted Roni in his arms and started to run. Roni felt as though she should object, but was too tired to argue. She was supposed to tell him something, but couldn't remember. She recalled being in a dark place and then coming out in to the light to get warm. It was like her people were waking up, but she didn't know what that meant.

That was just a dream, though. Then she remembered it was not a dream. "Papa, I am supposed to tell you." She waited for a response. She could feel a bit more in her surrounding. There was a path or a walk way they were on. It smelled like they were near the water. She could hear the sounds of waves hitting the beach.

"What is it, baby? Papa's listening."

She took a moment to recall what she was going to say, "ah, it's about the squids. They said they would help."

"Baby, the squids are back at the complex," Aaron breathed hard.

Frustrated at this response, she wanted to grab hold of his face. She could always get his attention when she held his face. Roni tried to pull her hands free and get some leverage. She was being jostled around in her father's arms, and now she felt she could move a bit more, hands freed.

"Roni, what are you doing, baby. Calm down, we're almost to the truck." Her hands reached his face, and she turned his head to her. He slowed to a brisk walk.

She concentrated really hard and pushed with her mind to make him stop. Once she had his complete attention she wanted to get her point across to him. She had to let him know. "Papa, the squids will help us. They promised they would help."

Aaron let out a patient sigh. “Listen, the squids have been very helpful. They gave us you, and for that we will be eternally grateful. But the complex will never let us go, and they will never let the squids go. I don't think they can let the world know about us or them. I'm afraid of what they will do to us, if they catch us.” He looked back the way they came and seemed relieved that no one was coming.

“Papa, you know the squid named Bright. He said I was special. That I am a one of a kind. He taught me some things. He told me why you and daddy were allowed to have a child.”

“Baby, can this wait?”

Shaking her head, “No. Cause they said, you and daddy have the genetic codes to help them, unique like me.”

Aaron picked her up and started to run again. “I know they say a lot of things like that, but we don't know what the squids really want.”

This time most of the feeling in her arms and legs had come back, and she held on tight as he ran. She decided to try again later. Before long Roni saw a truck flash its headlights.

Aaron's tone lightened with excitement. “That's him, baby. We're almost out of here.”

Roni was happy to see her daddy again. “Daddy!”

He was standing beside the truck waiving his hands as he ran toward them. She thought it had been several days since she had last seen him. He never wore a beard, but it looked like he had not shaved today. She could barely make out his dimpled chin she with which she was so familiar, but his broad shoulders and thick neck were unmistakable.

“You're a sight for sore eyes,” Jerry said.

They all embraced. Roni hugged them both as tight as she could. Her strength was coming back. At that moment, she never wanted to let go. She couldn't remember the last time they were all together like this. It must have been months, because her most recent memory of them all in one place, as a family, had been when it snowed here at the complex. She was very happy at this moment.

More of her memories came back to her. It was three months ago that it had snowed. They were in a mountain valley back then. They were being watched. Someone was keeping a close eye on them. Watching how they acted, and what was done. Her fathers did not know how closely their every move was monitored, but Roni's senses kept getting stronger. The squids told her to keep an eye out for things, and to watch for secret eyes. So, she did. And the more she looked for those hidden eyes, the easier she could find them.

She recalled it was a camping trip with fishing and campfires with marshmallows, and it got too cold. So, the trip was called off a little early. These memories were a welcome flood of happy times.

But something else happened. The trip was called off, but not for the cold. That was just what she was told, but they had been ordered back to the complex. It was the watchers, those field agents, that found out she knew.

Her fathers were with her again, and that seemed to be all that mattered. She was very glad. Her senses picked up some kind of urgency, but it was far away.

“Am I glad you two are alright. Were you followed? Any alarms?” Jerry asked.

“No, we were quiet. I avoided the cameras. Roni's still shaking off the Canimal 38, but she'll be right as rain in a bit. I can't believe we made it. Let's get outa here.”

They got in the truck, and started on their way. Roni sat between the two men, happy as any time before. “Where we goin?” She asked.

“We're going to visit my cousin in Dallas. He'll have us for a week or two, but I don't think we should stay with him very long.”

Roni's senses were sharpening, and her surroundings seemed to her as though the world was crystal clear.